Lessons Being Learned

I have been through many beautiful seasons in my life and many hard. Mom, Jake and I had fun times living out in the country on lake. Despite tragic circumstances, we had a fun and happy home. One of my favorite memories is how we often would go lay down on the trampoline at night to gaze at the stars. No pollution, no city noise, no distractions. This is probably one of the places where I began to see God as Creator and enjoy his beautiful creation.

Another beautiful time in my life was my mid twenties when I began to pursue Him more through and allow Him full access to my life. The lonliness of this stage led me to see that there truly is only one Person that can complete and fill me. I found him and his name is Jesus. I wouldn't trade those years for anything b/c I learned more about the dance with my Savior than at any other time in my life.

Then I met and married Coby. He was truly an answer to prayer in ways that I am still learning. The first 3 years of our married life were remarkable. We enjoyed each other. We had fun. We served together. We traveled. We stepped out of our comfort zones. We became one! I wouldn't trade those years for anything. He became my spiritual leader, my encourager, my protector, my best friend. He has only flourished in that role!

Now the season of family has arrived. We are now a family of 5. Right now I think it is the most beautiful time ever, but you know, I had thought that before. The girls make us laugh all day long. They sometimes make us cry. But they have challenged us so much to step up to the plate and stand firm in this task at hand that the Lord has given us. I won't lie. It has been one of the most difficult and tiresome seasons of my life. I struggle often with being so overwhelmed with gratitude one minute to spouting off my list of complaints the next. I struggle. I don't wear jewelry much anymore, takes too much time to put on. ;) With the 3 girls, all under 4, there is not much time for myself, for God, for my marriage. I would like to post again on our daily life b/c I want to remember it. There is so much that if funny about it, and so much that is a whirlwind. And I want to look back one day and say I survived it! But I will say this, that while I have less time for anything, I am at my greatest time of need ever for God. Why? Because from 7:00 in the morning until I go to bed, I will say with Paul as he does in Philippians 2:17, "I am being poured out as a drink offering..." Yes, I am. We all 4 eat, get dressed, have our Bible study, our school lessons, run our errands, clean the kitchen, do the laundry, change diapers, potty train, nurse, etc. There are so many needs that need to be met. I want to get this right b/c I have one chance. I want to be the wife Coby needs me to be when he gets home. I don't want to look back and see that I neglected him, but that I served him well. I made his home a safe haven for him, I encouraged him, I loved him, and I did it with a happy heart, not a tired worn out heart. Don't misunderstand, I am not trying to be perfect and I have had and will have many bad days. I am covered under God's grace. But I want to hear God say, "Well done, good and faithful servant." This is my lot right now, Lord help me to do it well. For your glory. With that being said, and me having admitted to being poured out, who is the only one who can fill me?? My Lord and my God. So I need him now more than ever and I will each morning fall on my knees to my Maker! I will commit every second of every day to him relying on His power alone. He is the only one who can sustain me. I trust Him. He has always been faithful through every season of life.

When a new season comes, I will need him just as much then and maybe even more so. I can rest in the fact that He will be there. I will humbly lay my life down again because without Him, I am nothing and I have nothing.

"Because your steadfast love is better than life, my lips will praise you." Psalm 63:3